When I Was Young!

Life as I knew it then was simple,we had little or almost nothing,but we were content, better still they were content...,I was not,i wanted to be in the next house with the glorious aroma of chicken stew, I wanted to be the kid at school whose parents picked him up in nice cars and wore neatly ironed uniforms with no torn part, I wanted the toys i saw displayed at old Tony's store and the candies at Bail's mall..., every sunday at church I prayed a little harder than the others, but all for the wrong reasons. my sole prayer point was "lord please make me wake up as the neigbor's child"! And the lord thought it best to ignore me. Home was a one room apartment where we slept on the bare floor, an excuse of what mama called a foam was no different, and on rainy nights we lost sleep, because the roof kept playing pranks with its leaks and my father never stopped blaming the landlord, but we knew better, my father, his memory awakes terror in my tender now old heart, his voice means "play is over" and when he was around, you better bury your nose in your school books, he was strict and so we never joined the street kids to ever do anything. My mother was also a strict one  and a stricter christian, she on so many occasions  flogged the hell out of me in the name of saving my soul, but above all this I loved her so much, though she died some years into my teen,tears formed a great fountain and overflowed the walls of my heart but through my eyes that day they refused to fall..., I grew up knowing hunger and learning wisdom, I can almost see little me sitting at mama's feet listening to her words of knowledge "may God bless her soul"...I remember my first love Mary, we were amongst the very few blacks to go to school back then, for it required courage and the art of great tolerance to be in school amidst the white kids, so it was natural when I and mary began,from walking home together and the little glances we shared in church to the first peck at Regy's farm yard then few days later my first kiss...my first kiss I would remember for days to come, a memory that can not be burned out with the so many pains I have had over the years, my soul companion during the war, yes I became a soldier when it became eminent our great country needed us, and in the desperation to get recognised and accepted in a nation that harboured us just because they could not simply ship us out to another farm, we jumped on the band wagon and went to war, a tale I would tell on a later date...early 1947 some years after the war I moved down to New Orleans, with vigor and so much energy to set the ball of success rolling, a young black boy set to make a difference in a world that took no notice of his existence, with time I learned it was easy and better trying to be myself and not trying to be someone the world would expect for it is being yourself that develops that innate quality in you to easily reach out and attain greatness... October same year I met Mary yet again, she was glorious like the morning. We had always loved each other back from the days of yore when our love ended with a peck and that was as much sin as we could commit for a whole year. We did ignite sparks, and simply made the world look small, our love drove us deep into the halls of the church where we said our vows....(to be continued)

'MY PLANET'

Set me free oh Earth!
Away from thy grip I float
Love me dear Jupiter
Suck me into your gravity

I love u in long nights
In the darkest of days
In and out of season I stayed
Even when reason failed

We danced in the rainy times
And cuddled at cold times
Like an astronaut
I was lost in twinkling stars

Through years and million light years
I flirted with the moons of Saturn
Circling orbits like the lone satellite
Your love drove me wild and more

Laying afloat on this raging sea
I finally lost sight of shore
Everything I held dear
Truly I give away

My ink smeared with sadness
But my heart overflows with sweetness
Oh gentle sea breeze of blackness
Pierce my gut with gladness

Distant sound of night birds
Weeping from being lost
I walk galaxies kissing planets
On my bed I live a thousand worlds

I crave the embrace of Jupiter
The sweet smell of Neptune
Like flowery paths on scented Venus
Hold me close be my Pluto

Like steady earth you are firm
Grasping reality when with you is easy
Like Neptune you are far but yet near
Fresh like April morning dew

Oh my princess in rainy droplets
Thy loving embrace like sunny sun
Light rays from heaven streak
Your eyes like prism glass

Your voice holds me bound
Lost in memories of your smile
Holding unto your image awakes me
Sending me into milky ways of glory

Splitting white light into colours of rainbow
You colour our love all bright and grey
Water my shaky roots
Sing to me sing it again

Oh my Earth it's u I truly crave
With Jupiter I would die of thirst
Saturn's moons are icy and cold
I want sun, rain and wind
Above all, I want you.
 ... and you alone!

'Mumbi'

'Mumbi'
When the air of Mombassa coiled around my loins,
I lay lost on my thin strip of land near Rung'ei railway station and stared at the tarmac which ran through Thabai to Nairobi and all my heart yearned for was Mumbi.

Her laughter, her little arms trying to grab my hair,her voice so tender, saying words she could not comprehend, the melody behind her life almost drowned the soloist of life "poverty".

I adored my child, she was growing like a young maize plant opened with its leaves spread out to the sun, the hot parchment of land around me seemed covered with greens ,at the thoughts of Mumbi, things seemed easy.

Each sound of my hoe kissing the soil spoke of a different era, it spoke of a time in which nothing existed beyond hardship, bound by the unending toils that leaves one asleep in the cool shelter of the shamba.

My little girl Mumbi, like a good harvest, she kept my expectations up,watching her little feet imprint upon the muddy soil made me smile, little beads dancing upon her little waist. She always smiled not bothered about what the world was turning into or that we stood right at the brink of total oblivion and deprivation, not to mention starvation.

How love could plant little maize grains of hope in one's life should be likened to the miracle of life, the counter action of everything that exist having its balancing halve, as hard as poverty hits and hunger prevails,love creates its miracle of adding a little water to dilute the thirst

Mumbi, the reason every morning starts with a purpose,every day ends with fulfillment. Her little tugs at the tail end of my wrapper says in its little way,mummy it would be ok..I wish I would take her to the white man's school. So she could learn about the world,be a lawyer or a doctor. I wish she would not end up like me... (To be continued) from my Kenyan friend, Alex.

Last Flight to Abuja... continued

...I awoke from my deep slumber of lust and mumbled my names, she said it's a blessing meeting you, that line was a warning note to my alert street sense, although dulled by the beauty and charm of this mystery wrapped in human flesh...I thought to my self, hope this is not the over religious type?,... I felt weak in her presence. This girl had the power to play with my heart. I saw cascades of a billion colours when she smiled, I saw the rainbow in her being, she was warm, our discussion moved through time it self, her name was Ella and her fragrance smelt like comfort on a saturday morning you just received a million dollars alert!...,the lady at the counter said 'sir this is the last flight to Abuja, would you love a ticket' by now I had all the information i needed, I said yes  and paid for my ticket,the truth was that i would gladly go anywhere with this girl now,even if she was going to Calabar I would have gone with her.....45minutes later we landed, the chilled air of the everyday Abuja evening confronted me with accusations 'why are you in love?' I smiled inside of me and said to myself, 'mama I'm coming home with a bride'....it is 6years now with two kids to be proud of... And I have learnt to know when something good comes knocking and how therefore to grab it, just as I did on that 'last flight to Abuja'....

Last Flight to Abuja

It was 2:13 pm, edgy but calm, I  was sitting in the taxi hoping upon a miracle that I make it to the airport on time, itchy to scream at the cab man to step on it. Every minute counted right now,I was already late for the board meeting. delayed by unforeseen circumstance that has now led me into urging this cab man to fly if he can in his little Datsun car. I wondered what would be speeding through my boss' mind. That woman worked me harder than termites, but the pay was good so I persevered and took in all the work load and smiled like it was all ok.
 The soothing sound of Koffi Anasewa's new track jamming on the stereo could not numb my anxiety, it did little to alleviate the worry that greased my brow. 2:25 pm finally chimed and with it came into view the Murtalla Mohammed international airport, hardly did the car stop than I rushed out with my briefcase heading straight for the local terminal. Her voice was as light as feather, like a sing song she called out to me like many humming birds arranged in lines as cherubs, 'Mr' 'Mr', I turned, hoping that heavenly voice was singing that prefix to get my attention, she was smiling when I turned, and my knees became weak, She smiled and said "you have not paid your cab fare" I was awed by the velvety smoothness of her voice, the clarity, it sounded like rain drops on flower petals, she must have noticed my stupid impolite stare, for she giggled on and it awoke me from my trance, I  mumbled something that sounded like a thank you and rushed past her for the cab man and appologised for the waste of his time, then paid him and rushed back in, not to catch the flight, but to catch up with her. A stone throw ahead of me I saw her wiggle towards the ticket counter, her shape was a ratio of 103% perfect and for the first time in months I hungered for a feminine heat, not just any woman but this one. I quickened my steps and came up beside her, she turned and dismantled my bold feeling with another charming smile. I asked her if she was heading to Abuja, which was a stupid question because she was obviously heading there. What other reason would have made her come purchase a ticket........(to be continued)

LISTEN AND LOVE

LISTEN AND LOVE

 There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to LISTEN AND LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed sincerely.
An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be very different.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking in his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.
If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.
It makes us laugh.
It makes us sing.
It makes us sad.
It makes us cry.
It makes us seek the reason why.
It makes us take.
It makes us give.
Above all else it makes us LIVE.
It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone.
So remember...If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.
Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are that's what it's all about anyway

Are You Ready For Love?

Are u ready for love?
 A good relationship isn't a game you play or an ego trip you take. It is about love and two people. Loving someone can give us the greatest joy we can ever know and
it can hurt more than we can believe too. If it does not really hurt when that person
 did something disappointing to you, but really hurts when you see that
person in pain and sadness, then you know you truly love that person.
Loving someone means you should be ready to experience heartache and happiness at
the same time. That's the reward and that's the risk. Unless we are willing to
experience it, we will never really know what it's like to love and be loved.
Sharing love is probably the most valuable and meaningful experience a person can ever have. And there's a difference between being in love with someone and
loving someone. It's the difference between a love that's fickle, wild and
short-lived and one that's tender and passionate, nurturing and lasts a long time.
The first is easy. The second, the one that really matters to all of us,takes work because it's about keeping a relationship.
Loving someone takes efforts. We have to be able to communicate with each other.
Nobody can read anyone else's mind. We always presume that our partner knows what we think and feel. Maybe in time we might be able to predict or sense each other's thoughts but it's never perfect and takes time to develop.
 On this page we will be sharing our thoughts and experiences in order to help each other become better lovers.
Getting the chance to love and be loved by someone is a blessing. Respect him/her for who he/she is, and not what you want him/her to be. Everyone is pretty and special in his/her own special way. No one is perfect. It is true love which closes the gap of imperfection to form a smooth surface
of acceptance for each other. True love sees and accepts a person for who he/she is. It is also true love which makes a person change for the better. The power of true love to a person is undeniable.
A relationship needs commitments too. What is love without commitments from each other anyway? It's like principles and values. Everyone has them but they only mean as much as we are willing to stand for them. The same goes for our commitments to relationships, and the person we love.
"Love is like an antique vase. It's hard to find, hard to get, but easy to break."
Every day everywhere,people fall in love...but just how many of these relationships are self-sacrificing love, and not just relationships which are formed only for the intense feeling of falling in love? I know hundreds of friends who say the magical words "I love you"... but more often than not, the truth is just -- I am IN love with you. There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. If a person says he/she is in love with you, he/she means
that he/she likes you for who you are now and he/she fell in love with you because of the present you.
This kind of love is temporary and lasts only as long as the fairy tale lasts. When fairy godmother comes in at midnight to whirl us back to reality, we see the heartache of such a relationship...where both were only IN love with each other. But if a person says he/she loves you, he/she means that he/she loves you unconditionally for who you are now, who you were in
the past and who you might be in the future. When he/she says he/she loves you and really means it, you have to ask yourself if you love him/her too or if you're in love with the idea of being in love.
It is very hard to see the difference through logical thinking. Let your heart guide you. May you be blessed on your soul-searching journey for your soul mate...